Forget Me Not
A new font, claiming to improve retention of written information was released by the Australian RMIT University last week. It has a catchy name: “Sans Forgetica”, and it promises to “assist students in the lead-up to their exams”. The year-end exams are fast approaching in Australia (and here in Singapore, too!) so the timing is no coincidence. If you are a student, and keen to use this new tool, you can download it – for free – at RMIT’s website.
Reading about Sans Forgetica made me think of how much effort we put into not being forgotten: the importance of passing business cards or worrying about the legacy, professional or personal, you will leave behind. It’s even in the pop songs:
““I heard you die twice, once when they bury you in the grave
And the second time is the last time that somebody mentions your name””
Now, as he himself admits, he didn’t invent it. The artist Banksy has been quoted saying this, but the sentiment has been expressed across centuries, even millennia, and cultures. So how can you increase your memorability? Is it as simple as changing the font on your business cards to Sans Forgetica?
The approach and line of thinking is an example of being focussed on the task. The answer probably lurks somewhere else: the relational side of influencing. Why? Because people will forget what you did, and they will forget what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel.
Not sure this makes sense? Think back on some of the people who have had the greatest impact on you as a person. Why did those people influence you? Sure, you may remember (or think you remember, our memories are very fickle things) some specific situations or wordings but what has truly stayed with you is the feeling inside that they planted there.
Reflecting back, I can easily identify a range of influences:
A teacher in my primary school who gave me confidence and comfort in my own abilities, planting the thought that they were something to be celebrated rather than hidden.
A friend’s father who dismissed my mother’s serious illness as an excuse for not fund-raising enough for our basketball team. I felt belittled and dismissed, a feeling that stayed with me for many years.
My best friend who has always been interested in what I think and why I think it –often agreeing but also furiously debating. In our 20+ years together, I have always felt completely accepted by her, even when she thinks that I am bonkers! (The photo above is an example of the said apparently bonkers behaviour. )
Feelings and emotions are also important in our professional lives. After all, we show up in the office as full human beings, with all our emotions and feelings impacting what we do and how we do it. So, take a moment to think about what the other person feels now and how you would like them to feel. Congratulations! You are a giant leap closer to immortality: your impact will carry on beyond your physical presence on this earth.
Anna’s starter guide to influencing
To understand how another person might feel is an aspect of emotional intelligence. A necessary pre-requisite for it is recognising your own feelings and emotions first. If this is a struggle for you, start regular written reflection on the day’s events and what feelings you experienced. My top tips:
1. Don’t judge your feelings or expect them to make sense – just note them down as they are in the spirit of curious exploration and discovery.
2. The more nuanced your language, the sharper the insights – you could use a wheel of emotions like this to increase your emotional vocabulary.
Staying out of judgement, be it of ourselves and others, is hard. Really hard. A terrific way to think about this is to imagine that every individual comes from their own country, with its own customs, culture and values. Being an interested visitor, a responsible tourist to that country of the other person is a very effective way to remain curious and not let fear or judgement take over.